Book vs. Movie: Fifty Shades of Grey

I saw it all over my “Fifty Shades promotes abuse” facebook timeline and I didn’t know it. I thought they might not have understood BDSM and placed the care into it. BDSM is not abuse, it is precisely the reverse. The book has done a pretty good job of demonstrating what BDSM is, in my view. There have been talks beforehand, extensive aftercare has taken place and there has been an intimate connection between both sides. None of this has been seen in the film. I’ve been watching the movie this morning; I know, I’m a little late here, but I haven’t been comfortable watching it in the cinemas and I’m really happy I decided to wait to watch it from home. In the past, having been in an abusive relationship and presently being in a BDSM relationship, there are enormous differences between the two. Consent is the major component. I have complete control with my husband not to have control. For those who haven’t participated in BDSM, I know that may sound a little weird, but that’s how it is, the sub has all the power, even if it doesn’t sound like that. The controller (I won’t give them Dom’s title, they don’t deserve it) has the authority and takes control of the victim in an abusive relationship.

The problems I have with the film are that some of the primary items that make up a BDSM relationship are left out, and it demonstrates an abusive relationship by leaving them out. I stopped playing a few times while reading the book. It’s been fun and enjoyable reading. I wanted to weep and hide with the film, though. I wanted Christian’s face to be punched. I’m writing this article and my feelings are all over the board within minutes after the film is finished. It’s difficult to define, but now I’m getting it. I know all the facebook posts that claim to be abuse of Fifty Shades. If somebody didn’t read the book and just watched the film, all they see is that. Christian has the authority, he gives no option to Anna. He loves bombs as a narcissist does and she falls for the bombing of love and remains, even though she is angry.

Now, for those of us who read the books, we understand that at the end of the film the elevator scene is not where it ends, and I believe that pushed me in the wrong direction as well. It’s been a terrible end all around. I beg those who don’t read the book to do that, kindly, and do it rapidly. Then do some studies on adequate interactions with BDSM because the film is NOT what we are living with. Honestly, after watching it, I feel very violated, not in a healthy manner. It brought up so many of my abusive relationship’s poor emotions. I know this isn’t a very good post put together, but that’s because I don’t put any thought into it literally. I just started typing through my fingers and let my emotions come out. I don’t understand if they will release more films, but if they do, I sincerely hope that they will do a better job of explaining BDSM. The boks were meant to normalize BDSM, they WAS opening minds and increasing the sales of erotic toys, including bondage devices. People were thinking things over and seeing the joy that might come from playing power, and I think the film destroyed that. I understand I would NEVER consider a BDSM relationship for one, if all I knew about it was the film. I’m sorry, but I can’t advise anybody the film. But I can suggest the books. Please read them, read them all, and see how this lifestyle really can be. Go to FetLife and read power-play relationships tales. Meet local people who are taking part, but don’t watch the film and believe that’s how things are.